Hi friends! Happy New Year! Maybe you're like me and you've tried new year's resolutions in the past with limited success, or lots of failure. Or perhaps you're tired of the rhetoric around the "New Year, New Me!" Regardless, it's okay to just focus on living and not trying to revolutionize yourself every cycle around the sun. However, you may enjoy picking an area of focus for the year. Or you like the refreshment that comes with a new year. I'm trying to find the sweet spot between the two camps: doing nothing, and doing everything (for about 9 days and then giving up-real talk!).
Photo by Matt Hoffman on Unsplash
I thought I would share my area of focus this year. (Just in case you were curious what therapists focus on every year... LOL.) I can tell you I'm human just like you. I've gained and lost weight countless times. I still can't quite get organized. I still save money haphazardly. My laundry piles are freakin' everywhere. I'm not perfect, and so my focus for the year isn't perfection. My word for 2023 is "consistency." What does this entail? To me, it means showing up, day in and day out. For example, I'm focusing less on exercise and more on joyful movement, which sounds much more appealing, in my humble opinion. I'm tracking my meals and snacks, not to lose weight, but instead to work on being more aware. I'm being consistent in my mindfulness and spirituality/prayer practices. I'm making a 'to-do' list of just 3-5 things per day, and I'm working on accomplishing those. I'm spending some time outside every. single. day. I'm not punishing myself with mean thoughts or harsh criticisms when I don't measure up. Because with consistency being the focus, the only way I don't measure up is if I don't show up at all. I can do this. You can, too.
If you need permission from a therapist to choose a "boring" resolution, like mine, here it is. You don't have to lose weight, make six figures, write the next great American novel, dump that shitty boyfriend (okay, but you do need to do that!), or chase perfection this year. You don't have to prove your value by setting lofty goals. You are worthy simply by existing. Resolutions should be something that enhances your experience of your existence, not something else that makes you feel 'less than.' Life is best experienced by simply being, and giving ourselves the space to start fresh over and over again, without beating ourselves up for needing to do so. Choosing a 'word' or a focus for the new year might be just what you need.
Here are some helpful thoughts from your friendly local neighborhood therapist to assist you in shifting focus this year:
I am worthy of love and belonging.
My circumstances will change but my contentment will remain the same.
I work hard, and I deserve to rest.
I am enough.
I show my family I love them daily through my words, my actions, and my thoughts.
I am grateful for all that I have and all that I will come to have.
Boundaries are my new best friend.
I know that the right people, relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc., will come to me.
I am always working towards who I am meant to be.
"Be who God meant to be, and you will set the world on fire." (I stole this one from St. Catherine of Siena, but man is it a good one!!)
If you are looking for assistance in finding your 'focus' this year, or further your healing, feel free to email me at info@giftofgritcounseling.com. I'd love to chat with you, and see if I can help you find the sweet spot between resolutions and results, with a big dose of peace and joy added in.
Take exquisite care of yourself,
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