Hello, hello! I hope your Fall is starting off strong and you are doing any and everything you want to do in order to celebrate the season.
Today, I thought I would write a post to help potential clients find a therapist they actually like and want to work with. We need to solve that age-old problem of "who the heck do I pick if I am scrolling on Psychology Today or Mental Health Match or just googling "therapists for anxiety in _____ area?"
When you're looking at providers or doing consultations with them, I think focusing on four key items is helpful:
Notice the key words on their website or directory listing.
I think looking at their years of practice is smart (new graduates are lovely, but largely untested clinically and will need to cut their teeth for a bit before developing their own clinical style).
Checking out what modalities they have listed will give you insight into how much they've invested in their clinical skills thus far. Trainings like IFS, EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, TEAM-CBT certification, I-CBT, ERP, etc. are expensive and show dedication to a higher craft of healing, in my opinion.
If they say they use an eclectic approach, I would shy away from that listing. 'Eclectic' sounds like a clinician is throwing darts at the wall and seeing what sticks, treatment-wise.
Another red flag would be an unprofessional picture, like a bad selfie (you know the kind I'm talking about... where it looks like the photos men after 40 on dating apps choose-- See the example meme below!) or one with poor lighting. Now, this doesn't mean they're a bad therapist, but it makes me wonder how invested they are in their business overall.
Ask the right questions.
When you book a consult with a therapist, it's good to come in with a list of questions for them. Don't ask your questions via email, for two reasons. Reason one: you want to hear their tone of voice, and see their body language if you can. You're interviewing them, while they are deciding if they can serve your clinical needs. Reason two: your email may not get answered if there are too many qualifiers in it. Good therapists are busy, and they want to get you booked for a consult or intake, not answer questions via email. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I want you to find the help you need, not linger in an inbox.
Good examples of questions include:
How do you help clients navigate the change process?
What's your favorite coping skill to teach?
What type of training do you have in treating XYZ issue?
How would you describe your personality in the therapy room?
If you have a certain issue that is coming up that is sensitive or important to you, ask about it. Example: "I need help navigating my religious trauma, while I continue attending church. Can you help me with that balance?"
Prioritize the importance of schedule availability, financial commitment, or personality fit with the clinician.
What matters to you? Cost? If so, check to see if the clinician takes your insurance or not, determine if they offer superbills for out of network reimbursement if they are private pay, or ask about a sliding scale availability in the consultation. The worst they can say is no. If they don't have any sliding scale slots and are private pay only, you can certainly see if they would be willing to meet every other week instead of weekly. I wouldn't recommend monthly sessions initially. You won't heal as quickly and may pay more in the long run anyways, due to the stalled treatment pattern.
Schedule availability? If you can only meet at evenings or weekends or at 2pm on Wednesday and that's it, you will need to be flexible about cost and clinician personality fit.
If you find a therapist you would LOVE to work with, then it may require a bit more of an investment financially and a flexibility with scheduling. Something I remind clients of is that research tells us a quality therapeutic relationship is the main key for healing. So, if you want the most success, this may be the most important piece for you. However, it's okay if you need to prioritize the money aspect or the scheduling piece first!
Look for signs of good ethics and/or boundaries in your future therapist.
Why? Because a therapist with poor boundaries or ethics is ripe for burnout and lackluster or harmful treatment practices. And because you want to learn about healthy boundaries from someone who exhibits them in their own life and business.
What are the signs to be looking at?
Check what time the clinician emails you back at or returns calls at. If they email you back at 3am, that would be a sign they struggle with time boundaries.
Ask them how they handle crises with current clients. If they say, "oh you can call me anytime...", while that may be reassuring to you, it's a sign to me that they can't disconnect and/or they feel an alarming personal responsibility to their clients outside of sessions.
Ask around about the therapist with trusted people you know. If someone you know has had a good experience with them, that's a better sign you can trust them.
Check their licensing board website and look them up to see if any complaints have been levied against them in the past and what for.
See if they say anything about hobbies, creativity, exercise or family/friend time in their 'About Me' section. You want a therapist who preserves their energy outside the therapy room by engaging in healthy fun things outside of their work. They will be more refreshed and ready to help you heal when they are in the room.
If they let you know that they are full up front, take that as a sign that they have good boundaries. They aren't seeing 40+ clients per week. That's a good thing, for you. Ask them how they navigate the idea of a waiting list or if they want you to just check back in a month or so to see if a slot has opened up. Remember, good therapists don't always have immediate openings, unless they are building a caseload, which is totally fine. A full caseload today may shift to 2-3 openings tomorrow.
There we have it, some of my thoughts on how to navigate the therapist search as a client! Let me know what else you'd like to know or discuss about this process. I know it's hard. Don't get discouraged. You will find the right one for you!
Take exquisite care of yourselves,
Megan
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